Tables Are Legal Gauntlet

Melanie McBride

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Off Camera

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There are times when I have to be Karen McBride the rich heiress to the McBride Corporate Empire and cutthroat businesswoman who would sell her own grandmother down the river in order to gain an upper hand over her enemies.  There are other times when I can put down the façade and be myself, Karen Leonard the kind, compassionate, caring yet tough as nails individual who isn’t afraid to get down and dirty in order to defend those she cares about the most.  I am a dichotomy.

Professional wrestling is an industry that is a dichotomy much like I am.  When one steps inside the squared circle it is a game of who is the better athlete.  It isn’t as simple as that backstage.  When the match ends and the wrestlers go backstage, things get more complex.  Politics enter into a world that should be only about wrestling and competition.

Whenever I am inside that ring during a match I am Karen the wrestler, the street fighter who will get down and dirty with the worst of the worst in order to pick up a win and fight for the honor of not only herself but for her friends and loved ones.  Backstage, before and after matches, I have to become Karen McBride the politician, the corporate cutthroat billionaire.  I have to be that person who can rub elbows with the scum of society and play politics with the crooks and criminals who run this industry.

The No Holds Barred Championship might seem like the antithesis of something that I would strive for, and truthfully I would rather be marching my way up to the world title scene instead, but I also realize that everyone has to start somewhere and if this NHB Championship contender’s match is my starting point, then so be it.  Besides, No Holds Barred is perfect for someone like me, someone who knows quite well what it is like to have to fight for her very life on the streets.

The task ahead of me at Invictus is to overcome the challenge of eight individuals in a tables are legal gauntlet.  Clearly the political, cutthroat businesswoman is not up to this task.  It will take Karen McBride the street fighter to defeat these eight opponents to earn that title shot.  So I have left the safety and security of McBride Estate in search for the two individuals who could help me prepare for the coming war…

…my biological brothers, Samuel and Jeremy Leonard.

Samuel is the oldest and does not trust the wealthy, high class individuals at all whatsoever.  Ever since the two of us reunited, in fact, he has looked at me in a different light, almost as if to ask himself if I have forgotten where I came from.  It is Samuel with which my sister Melanie had an altercation.  He didn’t know Melanie, never met her in his life, he just assumed that because she was rich that she was stuck up.  Jeremy is the youngest of us three Leonard siblings and is more open-minded and trusting than Samuel.  Jeremy sees the good in people and wants to think that anyone can do what’s right.  He was happy to meet Melanie and they hit it off quick.

Melanie: Are we there yet, Kare-Bear?

And that is precisely why I am a little nervous about meeting my brothers this afternoon.  Melanie got wind of why I was going to see them and she begged to go.  Samuel and Jeremy are not trained professional wrestlers but they are natural fighters and Samuel, in fact, is a trained boxer.  Their skills and knowledge in the purest form of fighting will help me prepare for my challenge at Invictus.  That’s what I want out of this trip.  Melanie, on the other hand, just wants to learn to fight.  She wants to learn to defend herself and, eventually, she wants to learn to become a professional wrestler.

Becoming a professional wrestler is not exactly my first choice of careers I would choose for Melanie.  Melanie is so young and so innocent and we are so close that I feel almost overprotective of her, in a way.  But I also know that when she sets her mind on something she will have it no matter what.  She is rather stubborn in that sense.  Thus I knew it was pointless to try and talk her out of going with me to see my brothers.

My pink convertible, top down, is heading down the streets on the outskirts of New York City.  I am looking for a specific location, one my brothers described in great detail.  I know exactly where they are talking about.  Melanie, who sits in the passenger seat, just looks on with anxious expectation.

Karen: Not yet, Mel.  But we are close.

I have no idea how right I am.  Up over the horizon I spot what appears to be a parking lot, but it is in terrible condition.  Grass and weeds are beginning to crop their way up through the concrete, a clear sign that people have been ignoring this place.  A grin forms on my face.

Karen: This is it…

Melanie: Where?

We turn into the parking lot and I slowly bring the car to a stop into one of the parking spaces, not that it really matters as clearly no one has been using this place in a long time.  When I turn off the ignition I wait but Melanie is impatient and she immediately gets out of the vehicle and starts to scan the area with a befuddled look upon her lovely features.

Melanie: You can’t mean here…

Karen: This is the place.  I know it.

My sister shakes her head.

Melanie: No, you’ve made a mistake.  There’s nothing here, Kare-Bear.

Karen: There may be nothing here but someone is…

I step out of the vehicle and wait for a moment.  My gut instincts tell me I am not alone.  Something is not right.  It is a strange feeling in the air as if the attack is imminent, I just do not know where or when it will come.  And that’s when it comes, I barely turn around in time to see a streak of a faded green jacket coming at me, taking me down with a sloppy execution of a double leg takedown.

Melanie: KAREN!

My sister’s shouts of peril go unheard and ignored, after a brief struggle with my attacker I roll over on top of him and start pounding away with mounted punches. I feel another hand on my shoulder and quickly I jump off my attacker and rear back to punch but the man backs off quickly…

…it’s Jeremy Leonard.

Jeremy: Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on there Karen!

The solemn glare that had been etched across my face slowly morphs into a knowing grin as the two of us embrace in a hug.  We hear laughter as Samuel pulls himself up and we join in a three-way group hug.  After breaking the embrace I snicker at my older brother, Samuel.

Karen: You sneak attacked me and you still couldn’t get the best of me.

He shrugs his shoulders.

Samuel: What can I say?  Some things will never change.

Melanie: Uh, guys…

Her voice breaks the mood as we turn our collective attention towards Melanie, who stands by the convertible, looking ever so dumbfounded as the two men who attacked me are now embracing me and laughing it up.  Jeremy is the first to break the ice as he steps away from me and Samuel and approaches Melanie.  He places his firm but gentle hands upon her shoulders.  Had it been Samuel, Melanie would’ve shied away, but she seems to trust Jeremy.

Jeremy: Sorry about that, kiddo.  We were just testing our sister.

He turns back to face me and winks.

Jeremy: And she passed…

Samuel: With flying colors, might I add…

My older brother chimes in as he rubs his forehead in pain.  I can’t help but snicker at his obvious discomfort at the whole thing.  His pride gets the better of him and he is quick to pipe back in.

Samuel: …but you’re still sloppy, Karen!

Karen: Sloppy?  I kicked your ass!

Samuel: I took you by surprise way too easily and I’m not even a trained wrestler and yet you think you can survive these eight other dipshits in the match against you?

It is clear that Samuel is just doing this to save face due to his hurt pride.  I know this and I refuse to let him get to me.  Besides, being taken by surprise is the least of my concerns in a gauntlet match.  Endurance is what I need to work on most of all for a gauntlet match.  At Invictus I will have to go through eight wrestlers, some monsters, some high flyers, some great, some pathetic, and everything and everyone in between in order to earn a championship match, all the while trying to avoid getting put through a table.

Karen: This is true, you are not a trained wrestler, but did you bring any tables to our little scuffle?

He sighs and shakes his head..

Samuel: No, I didn’t, but I did bring my A-Game and I brought Jeremy who is almost as good a fighter as me.

Jeremy: Almost?

Samuel: What did you bring?

He motions to Melanie.

Samuel: You brought little miss priss over there.  And why?  So she can file her nails while we get dirty?

Melanie: HEY!

I watch as Melanie starts to approach Samuel but Jeremy holds her back, probably for her own good.  Samuel can’t help but laugh nastily, watching from a distance.  But I punch him in the gut and then point an accusatory finger at him.

Karen: Don’t you EVER talk about my sister like that again, Sam!

Samuel: Your sister?

He shakes his head, chuckling.

Samuel: You’ve forgotten who you are…

Karen: I don’t know what you’re talking about!

Samuel: Then let me spell it out for you, sis!

He points to Melanie.

Samuel: SHE is not your sister!  Her family just took you in like some stray cat!  She will never be your family!

He and I stare each other down and try as I might to appear strong I cannot fight back the tears that are forming in my eyes.  He can see the distinct sign of my emotional pain and he begins to laugh.

Samuel: What’s wrong, Karen?  Did the truth hurt your feelings?  At the end of the day you’re just a prostitute.  Accept it.

I am about ready to pounce on my brother and give him another thrashing but before I can do anything my sister Melanie beats me to it!  She breaks free from Jeremy’s grip and storms her way over to my position.  She steps in between me and Samuel and then slaps him across his face.  He rubs his cheek from the sting of the slap and chuckles.

Samuel: I didn’t see that coming…

Melanie: Let me tell you something, siblings know each other like the back of their hands and you don’t seem to know shit about Karen!

The sound of my sister swearing is so rare that it causes me to laugh despite the situation.

Melanie: Was she a prostitute?  Yes, but she did it to make sure there was food on the table for you!  Now Karen devotes time, energy, and money to helping young women out of that situation she had once found herself in!

She pokes a finger at his chest.

Melanie: And you think you had it rough, and yes you did, but everyone has bad things about their lives, even the rich.  Do you realize how lonely it was for me to be shunned by my older siblings?  My parents adopting Karen was the greatest blessing in my life because she became the best friend I have ever had!  So if you’re all pissed off at me now and want to fight then go ahead!  I may get my ass kicked but I’ll take an ass kicking for Karen!

Damn, I didn’t know Melanie had it in her.  I brace myself, preparing to fight back in her defense as I know the kind of temper Samuel has.  Thankfully, he just starts laughing.

Samuel: I got to admit, you have a lot of spunk.

Melanie: I got a lot more than that!  I didn’t come here to “file my nails” I came here because I want to learn how to defend myself.  I came here because I want to learn to fight.

My brother shoots me a look.

Samuel: Is that so?

I nod my head.

Karen: Yes.  I tried talking her out of it but she would have none of it.

He turns back to face Melanie, whose face remains resolute.  He takes appraisal of her before nodding his head.

Samuel: I think I can work with her…

Karen: Samuel, what are you planning?

Samuel: Trust me, Karen!  I think it’s admirable that a wealthy billionaire actually wants to learn what it’s like to actually fight.  I’d be more than happy to teach her.

Karen: Fine, but understand one thing…

I grab him by his neck.

Karen: If you hurt her in any way, I will hurt you.  An eye for an eye.

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On Camera

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I am wearing an elegant, shimmery black dress with a v-neckline.  This particular number also shows off all of my luxurious curves which will no doubt excite the viewers at home.  For added elegance I am wearing traditional opera length gloves that extends past my elbow.  I am balanced on black patent leather peep toe pumps with a three inch heel.

Karen: The evolution of professional wrestling is funny when you think about it.  Why do you think wrestling, for the longest time, had been known as the sport of kings?  Men, for the longest time, have dominated this industry.  But now look at where the men are and where the women are.  Women damn near dominate this industry.  IWC’s world champion is a woman.  The sport of kings is ruled by a woman.  Funny, isn’t it?  Do you know what else is funny?  Wrestling has always been about competition and while that has never changed what has changed is the form competition has taken.  Greco-Roman wrestling is going by the wayside in favor of hardcore brutality and street fight violence.

A sly grin forms on my face.

Karen: Lucky for me, street fight violence and hardcore brutality is what I do best!

I pose for the camera.

Karen: What IWC has seen thus far from yours truly is picturesque beauty.  What you have seen is beauty inside the ring and outside the ring.  What few realize is that as beautiful as I am, I can be equally as dirty when I have to be.  I can equally as violent when I have to be.  The No Holds Barred Championship, therefore, is perfect for a woman like me; a woman who is deadly beautiful and deadly in the squared circle.

I hold up eight fingers.

Karen: I just have to go through eight individuals, some monstrous men with huge power and size advantage and others who can beat me in speed and agility while others may even match or best me in chain wrestling.  But one thing that I do better than anyone else in this tables are legal gauntlet is fight.  I am a better fighter than any of my opponents.  And consider the fact that this is a gauntlet and gauntlets are ultimately, at the end of the day, about who can survive, and those who know me well know that I survive better than anyone else in the industry.

Slowly I start to drop my fingers until all are down.

Karen: One by one they will all fall until one individual is left standing.

I point at myself with my thumb.

Karen: Me, Karen McBride, your future No Holds Barred Champion.